Ok, so it’s not that I don’t like books or stories.  I just don’t like the act of reading.  

You see I am a slow man.  

I was slow as a child as well.  My parents got me tested, like for IQ, and learning disabilities and stuff.  And as it turned out they told my parents that I was a retarded  “Learning Disabled” student.  Reading comprehension being my weakest area. 


So when I read I read slow.  Most of the time I read the same sentence/paragraph twice.  It feels like home work.

I like books on tape.. er, I mean Mp3.  Whatever I got a bunch of em on my Iphone, I can just listen.  It’s nice.  Some of my friends say I’m really not reading the book, and they’re right.  But fuck it.  Ahab sinks to his death I get it.

But guess what else… I can’t spell to save my life either.  And this is my public apology to all my readers (all the throngs and hoards of loyal readers!).  My bad, cause spell check is great n all but shit like- which and witch or passed and past -yeah, that shit spell check don’t pick up on.  No grammar neither.

So for those of you who have read:  Thanks for not putting my dumb ass on blast.

New topic:

I have no Internet at work god dammit!  

Shit man, if I could do this at work I think I’d Jizz in My Pants!  I mean what better way to kill 2 hours… um yeah I have trouble writing shit too.  It sucks that I’m relegated to reading your blogs on my Iphone at lunch, smoke breaks, and in-between twittering when my boss is not around (that sounded hot).

Ohh yeah, and I’m also sorry for not commenting.  I’m really kind of a novice with this blog thing, but I’m guessing that’s gotta be rude.  Figures cause I’m rude and flaky in the rest of my life so why would it change here. 

And for good measure.

Good Talk.  See ya out there.


9 Responses to Explanation

  1. Lemmonex says:

    My boss once tried to twitter me when no one was around. It didn’t end well.

  2. Matt says:

    Dude I kill about five or six hours a day at work with blogging.

    its a total life saver. I couldnt imagine how much I would hate work if I had to actually… work.

  3. freckledk says:

    I was twittering with myself last night.

  4. justjp says:

    Bro, this is how I make my day sail by! I totally agree with Matt.

  5. deutlich says:

    that whole no internet @ work shit is fucking ridiculous. what are we, a third world country?!

    i didn’t fuckin’ think so.

  6. LiLu says:

    Now I remember us talking on Satuday about how it looks like you’re masturbating when you Twitter at work.

    Shorty got low low low low low…

  7. floreta says:

    just found you out via chris– hi! like your blog so far and ‘you’. i’m a slow reader too. sometimes i read a paragraph over and over and it doesn’t sink in. and it most definitely won’t sink in if i’m reading aloud. hmm.

  8. “Fuck it. Ahab sinks to his death I get it.”

    ZOMGHA! I don’t usually lol, but that did it. Nicely put.

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