Metal Post

On Tuesday night I went to see Senses Fail.  Previously I had called them and Emo band.  I was wrong. These guys were as hardcore as they come.  They stuck with the heavy stuff (staying away from some of their whiny boy my daddy was mean songs), and even pulled off a pretty kick ass version of Metallica’s Battery.  Awesome!  (no where near as awesome as Metallica)

So we all know metal shows have mosh pits.  It ends up being the closest thing any man can come to a Fight Club (love that fucking movie!).  You jump into the pit, and throw yourself or someone else on the ground.  Sounds brilliant!

Anyway, It’s been an easy 10 years since I’ve been in one. I really wasn’t sure what to expect, so I figured I would just hang back and check out the action.  You know, see if I still had it in me…

Fatal mistake.  You see you don’t chose the pit, it chooses you.  Lucky for me when I was unknowingly tossed in I had already safely stashed the Prada glasses (yup, I just name dropped Prada), but my dumb ass still had on my Big Boy Business Man Hugo Boss watch (still name dropping).

So I was shoved (by some teenager) and I very gracefully fell flat on my back.  When I hit the ground my watch popped off and in slow motion leaped into the air.  

Me: Noooooooooo!  My Big Boy Business Man Hugo Boss Waaaatch!  (yes I did say the whole thing)

I spotted it land next to some kid in a red hoodie, I sprung to me feet ready to reclaim my treasure, and FUCKING BAM!!  Elbow to the eye son!  I think this guy was like 20 feet tall, 500lbs of muscle, like 2 Arnolds circa ’83… or some high school kid who the fuck knows, I was down!  

But, as mosh etiqutte dictates this dude picked me right back up, asked me if i was cool.

Me:  Fuck yeah Bro!

And he threw me back.  The rest of the night I got to know the floor more than I had planned.  It was kinda awesome.

During the one whiny boy choruses they did play I snuck outta the pit, spotted red hoodie…

Red Hoodie:  Hey I think you lost your Big Boy Business Man Hugo Boss Waaaatch!  (just let it happen).

A great night!

Senses Fail song: Rum Is For Drinking Not Burning

My Eye:


Arnold Circa ’83:


more Metallica if your still here


8 Responses to Metal Post

  1. lbluca77 says:

    As much fun as I think a mosh pit would be I think I would be way to scared to go in. I would just curl up in the fetal position and end up getting stomped to death. But I’m glad you got your watch back and had a blast, minus the eye of course.

    But the black eye is my souvenir!

  2. Matt says:

    Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.

  3. apollocreed says:

    Oh snap – Matt started it now!

    Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

  4. Matt says:

    Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Idontliketoread’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.

  5. apollocreed says:

    This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

  6. Burt Frost says:

    Well, I’m still here. But I don’t know for how long. That’s as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I’ve got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But… I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I’m so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite…

  7. Lump says:

    People keep asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

  8. LiLu says:

    I was terrified of the Pit even when I was young enough to handle it. Skanking even scared me in my “ska” era.

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