Don’t do it old lady!

I just did some light grocery shopping at my local market, Big Deal.

This place is small old and slow. Much like the majority of the people in my neighborhood of the Bronx. Morris Park is an old Italian neighborhood, both of my parents grew up here, and until about 4yrs ago my grandparents lived here their whole lives.

So over the past 3 1/2yrs that I’ve lived here I have gained knowledge and wisdom from these people. Old people like to talk, and I don’t mind listening. There is always something that can be taken from those conversations. Today it was a blog.

Waiting on the typically slow long Big Deal line to check out, an old lady took a liking to me. I looked like her grandson/nephew/son, or something. She wasn’t sure. Anyway, she quickly became aware of the fact that I had made a grave mistake: paper-towels! The roll I was purchasing was a quarter cheaper down the road at some convenient store! I thanked her for the tip, but did not toss the roll I had because I just wanted to go home. Not on a 10min walk to the other place.

This was a big mistake.

She began to lecture me worse than my grandma did when she saw my first tattoo. About how my generation has no appreciation for money or hard work. We take it all for granted…

“Everything was handed to you, and you’re to loose with your money. This is why the Mayor should be shot!”

me- “What the holy fuck are you talking about old lady?!?!”

(you see in these Italian Roman Catholic parts you just have to bless foul language before spitting it)

old lady- “Ohh I see. You like Bloomberg, don’t you.”

me- “Look I’m not sure, but I think you can be arrested for saying that!”

By this time she was just about done and leaving. She called me a good boy and walked out.

I’m confused.


7 Responses to Don’t do it old lady!

  1. apollocreed says:

    that’s what you get for buying the wrong paper towels.

  2. What's wrong with your bag, girl? says:

    Paper towels? In my day we used newspaper. And not the newspaper of today. In my time, the newspaper was made of glass and twine. And you don’t talk to a man like Moe Green, like that!

  3. apollo- i will never make that mistake again

    bag- where’s my chicken parm old lady!

  4. dmb5_libra says:

    old people = crotchety

  5. dmb- yo, this lady was more than the usual grouch, she was a killer!

  6. Matt says:

    Maybe she really didnt like the grandson/nephew/son you reminded her of. Or she forgot to take her geritol or something- but at least you escaped, uninjured.

  7. Nachi says:

    wow, I am confused too! hahaha

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