Preface: Every once in an often the slow drag of the blues gripes me. Even while on a beach in paradise, the undertow of melancholy is inescapable.
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Today I had a slice of pizza for lunch. I do this about 222 times a year, but toady was different.
This slice of pizza was so god damn delicious it made me want to light myself on fire.
The first bite was all sauce.
The tomatoes must have been vine ripened in the Garden of Eden. This sauce was the perfect blend of everything. Garlic, oregano, basil. And. It was sweet. Not sweet like candy. But, sweet like the first ray of sunshine on a perfect May morning: light, and almost unnoticed.
Then the mozzarella. It wasn’t cheese at all. This milky congealer must have been the silk that Athena herself slumbered upon. A salty heaven.
When all that was gone I was left with the crust. The dough that made this crust could only have been made by my father’s father. I never knew the man, but family has told me that he and I we were cut frome the same stone. He and his brothers were Bakers. I grew up with the smell of freshly baked bread in my nostrils, and up until about 5 years ago that same bakery was around the corner from the house I live in now.
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Yesterday my best friend told me: “You move a muscle, you change a thought”
Today I made an appointment to see a therapist.
Tomorrow I’m gonna enjoy another slice.
June 2, 2009 at 10:16 pm
This entry made me want pizza. It also reminded me of how badly I need therapy but am too chicken shit to see anyone. I applaud you for making an appointment. You’re braver than me.
I called and hung up three times before I did it.
June 2, 2009 at 10:47 pm
The last time I went to therapy I really feel like something clicked, like all these things I have been ignoring and lessons I refused to learn finally all kinda came together.
I’d never met an emotional buzzsaw I didn’t want to jump on or a pattern I didn’t feel the need to endlessly repeat. For the first time I finally truly saw what I was doing.
I hated going back and for a while worried I was weak, but really there is nothing weak about wanting to get better and taste the sweeter things in life.
June 3, 2009 at 1:19 am
good for you. it can only help, right?
and now, i too want pizza.
June 3, 2009 at 7:08 am
I had pizza for lunch yesterday. It was 3 days old and cold. You keep giving me reasons to hate you.
June 3, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m proud of you for taking that step. By a lot.
June 4, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I have never been to therapy. Not because I don’t think i need it, oh trust me I do. I’m just scared I will end up in a room with padded walls.
June 9, 2009 at 7:32 pm
That sounds amazing. Where do you get a slice like that?
June 10, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Blogs are weird!
June 11, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I don’t know if I subscribe the muscle/thought thing. I mean, look at Stephen Hawking.
Wait, what?
June 12, 2009 at 11:37 am
I went to therapy three times. My therapist had narcolepsy. Or my life is just boring.
I want pizza now.